The Apprentice Week Four Review: Stadium Sales
26 October 2017
Photo Credit: Jim Marks / BBC
Judging by the previous three weeks, if I were Lord Sugar, I’d be having a seriously long think about parting with £250,000 of my hard earned. So far, on both sides of the competition, we haven’t seen much in the way of business acumen or even basic common sense. Could this week change all that? Don’t hold your breath …
It was Stadium Sales this week, and each team was tasked with coming up with a VIP experience in one of the hospitality boxes for the Women’s Cup Final. “Yeah but it’s not the Men’s Cup Final,” scoffed Andrew … A man in the losing team for the entire procedure so far.
The teams were tasked with creating a luxury environment with entertainment, fine dining and plenty of liquid refreshments. Siobhan stepped up in Team Graphene – as a wedding planner, she seemed most suited to the task – whilst Andrew took up the mantle for the boys’ team, hoping that his repeated fist pumps and cries of “let’s smash this!” were enough to break their losing streak.
There was some serious confusion right from the off. For a group of business people, none of them seem to possess enough intelligence to ask a client, from the very first meeting, what their budget is. This has caused some wildly outlandish spending in the previous weeks that no one appears to have learned from. This meant that both teams had their laughable budgets of over £6k slashed to just over £2k by both sets of clients.
Andrew’s response to this was to cut corners at every chance. The best moment of the series so far came when it became obvious that, not only had his team run out of champagne and had no soft drinks on offer, they were serving Wotsits at a luxury VIP event. On a paper plate. Wow.
Siobhan took a different approach, ensuring that there was more than enough food and plenty of booze flowing to keep her clients happy. Despite Bushra’s pathetic attempt at engaging their guests in a list of facts about Wembley, their event actually ran very smoothly. It’s a shame the same cannot be said for the team, who continue to bicker, scream and wail at every given opportunity. Sarah Jane and Joanna proved themselves to be as much use as a chocolate teapot when it came to sales.
The cringiest moment of the show was reserved for Harrison. Deciding that paying for entertainment would blow their budget, Vitality asked the shower crooner to do a bit of pre-match singing for their guests. I was absolutely certain that Harrison – who sounded croaky at best – should definitely not sing. “This morning I was singing in the shower, now I’m performing at Wembley,” he gushed. Eh, it’s not The X Factor, dear. Karren Brady – queen of the disgusted facial expression – looked truly unimpressed as he read the lyrics to My Way and shakily gave a pub singer performance.
Despite the fighting, the girls seemed to host a good event. So, it was a real surprise when Team Vitality clinched their first victory of the series. Andrew’s cost cutting paid off and they edged their way to a win.
Next week, the candidates are tasked with purchasing items that “best represent the life of Lord Sugar”. Who only knows what chaos that will result in.
The Apprentice is on BBC1 on Wednesdays at 9pm.
Written By Mary Palmer