12 Hilarious CV Bloopers

12 Hilarious CV Bloopers

17 March 2017

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As a hiring manager or a recruiter, you’ve no doubt had thousands of CVs cross your desk during your working life.

Some of them belong to absolutely outstanding candidates who you would hire in a heartbeat. Others … Not so much.

Whether it be the need for a quick spell check or someone who clearly just doesn’t know what to write on a CV, there are some real howlers out there.

For our amusement, and yours, we take a look at some genuine quotes from CVs that are so weird and funny, you’ll be hard pushed not to laugh.

Happy Friday.

“I have repeated courses repeatedly”

via GIPHY

So good – they’ve done it twice!

“I am skilled with the pubic.”

via GIPHY

It’s all gone very 50 Shades …

“I am bi-lingual in three languages”

via GIPHY

Umm … We think that makes you multi-lingual.

“My hobbies include drugs and girls.”

via GIPHY

Who knows what a quick social media scout would uncover here.

“Salary requirements: The higher the better.”

via GIPHY

Obviously, everyone feels that way, but you can’t come out and say it!

“Last job – Own Business. Reason for Leaving – Fired.”

via GIPHY

What did you do … To yourself?!

“I am able to persuade people sexually by using my words.”

via GIPHY

Almost certain that’s tantamount to assault.

“I am undertaking this course as I feel it would be detrimental to my career.”

via GIPHY

Someone please buy this poor soul a dictionary.

“My twin sister has an accounting degree.”

via GIPHY

We've always wondered if people genuinely sent their twins in their place. 

“Directed $25m anal shipping and receiving operations.”

via GIPHY

TYPO! TYPO! TYPO!

“I have been convicted of arson … Will explain at interview.”

via GIPHY

We’d invite them in just to find out what happened!

“Life skills: I can make a perfect velociraptor call.”

via GIPHY

You’re hired! 

Written By Mary Palmer

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