12 Utterly Ridiculous Job Titles
17 February 2017
Look, we’ve all been there. We’ve all sat staring at our CV, or a job application (or even our LinkedIn profile) and thought the same thing. Your job title doesn’t sound very exciting. It doesn’t capture the amount of hard work and effort that goes in to your day-to-day.
So maybe you take out the word ‘assistant’ and replace it with ‘consultant’ or ‘executive’. Maybe you give yourself a teeny, tiny, virtually unnoticeable promotion. You’re practically a deputy manager anyway, so who’s really going to dispute it?
A few adjustments here and there and before you know it, you’ve become a Direct Mail Demi-God or a Chief of Ideas.
So many job titles these days are so convoluted and technical that they’re often a little lost in translation. We take a look at twelve of the most ridiculous. See if you can work out what they are … (answers underneath each GIF – no peeking!)
Media Distribution Officer
It is, of course, a paper boy.
Highway Environmental Hygienist
This job is actually a road sweeper.
Shout out to all the stay at home parents.
Education Centre Nourishment Consultant
Everyone’s favourite – the school dinner lady.
Mobile Sustenance Facilitator
A very hipster job – food truck owner.
Paranoid in Chief
A hilarious job title for a cybersecurity technician.
Have you tried turning it off and on? It’s an IT troubleshooter.
Wet Leisure Assistant
A slightly creepy way of saying you’re a lifeguard.
Co-ordinator of Interpretative Teaching
Super fancy job title for a museum guide.
Wizard of Light Bulb Moments
It is, of course, a Marketing Director.
Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant
An amazing convoluted way of saying shop assistant.
Grand Master of Underlings
A sinister sounding job title for a Deputy Manager.
Written By Mary Palmer